Authentic accounts of artificial things.

  • The Mechanical Turk: A Chess Master in Disguise

    In a quaint Viennese workshop, Wolfgang von Kempelen was on a mission—a mission to impress and bemuse the elite of the 18th century. He thought to himself, “If I can build a chess-playing machine, surely I will gain the respect of kings and patrons!” After countless hours of tinkering, painting, and inventing, he finally unveiled the Mechanical Turk, a peculiar contraption that looked eerily like a life-sized puppet. With a whimsical flourish, Wolfgang introduced the ‘robot’ as an unbeatable chess champion. Little did everyone know, there was a human chess master named Johann cleverly crammed inside, holding the reins of this mechanical marvel while maintaining just enough dignity to avoid screaming for help.

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  • The Cottingley Fairy Fiasco

    Once upon a time in the riveting year of 1917, two sisters named Frances and Elsie decided that their village of Cottingley could use a sprinkle of magic—and possibly a dash of mischief. Armed with nothing but cardboard cutouts and an absurd amount of imagination, they concocted a plan to convince the adults of their small town that they had encountered actual fairies. After all, when you’re facing a summer of boredom, why not create a viral sensation before the term “going viral” even existed?

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  • The Great Loch Ness Hoax of 1934

    Once upon a time in the misty shores of Loch Ness, a couple of pals decided to spice up a dull afternoon with the ultimate prank. Enter Dr. Alfred, a rather eccentric surgeon known for his questionable sense of humor and way too much free time. Armed with a toy submarine and a plastic dinosaur he had strategically borrowed from a child’s backyard, he thought, “What could possibly go wrong?!” With his trusty camera in hand, Dr. Alfred waded into the chilly waters, ready to unleash his masterpiece on an unsuspecting public.

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  • The Great Fiji Mermaid Hoax

    In the bustling world of the 1840s, where the scent of popcorn mingled with the occasionally stinky wafts of livestock, P.T. Barnum found his calling. This flamboyant showman, who could sell ice to an Eskimo, couldn’t resist the urge to cook up a spectacle that would make waves—literally. Enter the “Fiji Mermaid,” an evening attraction that promised a mystical combination of fishy fantasy and skinny monkey grace. With its scrunched-up face and scaly tail, the creature looked more like a failed science project than a mythic marine maiden. But who were they to judge? After all, it drew crowds faster than your Aunt Gertrude’s all-you-can-eat casserole night.

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  • The Piltdown Man: Evolution’s Comedic Imposter

    Once upon a time in England, a group of overly ambitious scientists gathered in a dusty old pub, arguing fiercely over the latest discovery: the Piltdown Man. They believed they had found the ultimate treasure—a fossil that combined the best traits of humans and apes! Unfortunately, what they didn’t know was that the only thing connecting their prized specimen to humanity was the pub’s secret stash of questionable ale. It turns out the key to this “missing link” was a mix of someone’s half-eaten orangutan sandwich and a skull deftly pilfered from the local museum, marinated in a decade of disinterest.

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  • The Moon’s Groovy Gossip: When Bats Talked Back

    Once upon a time in the glorious year of 1835, when top hats were both a fashion statement and a personal umbrella, The Sun newspaper in New York unleashed a shocking revelation that shook the constellations: life existed on the Moon! Apparently, our lunar neighbor was buzzing with bat-like humanoids holding tea parties on the surface, frolicking through fields of moon flowers, and discussing the latest fashion trends. What was this, a celestial sitcom? You bet it was! The people were tickled pink as the news spread quicker than gossip at a high-society ball.

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  • The Great Berners Street Hoax

    In the bustling heart of London in 1810, Theodore Hook, a man with a sense of humor the size of a whale, concocted what would go down in history as the most gloriously chaotic prank ever pulled. Imagine a dude sitting in a cozy chair, chuckling to himself as he wrote thousands of letters, each sealed with a flourish and addressed to the unsuspecting residents of 54 Berners Street. Little did they know, their quaint abode was about to be ground zero for a comedic odyssey that would make even Shakespeare’s comedies blush with envy!

    On the fated day, the scene outside Berners Street resembled a mad circus on caffeine. There were all sorts of tradespeople—bakers, butchers, and even a troupe of jugglers—jostling for prime parking space as they rushed to fulfill the non-existent orders. One hapless baker arrived with an impressive twenty-layer cake, only to have a bewildered tea delivery boy stare at it as if it were a Martian spaceship. “Did you order this?” he asked, hoping his best “I’m an innocent bystander” face would save him. Meanwhile, a confused aristocrat in a top hat and monocle stood awkwardly holding a bouquet, wondering if he had mistakenly crashed a wedding.

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  • The Cardiff Giant: A Tall Tale of Stone and Shenanigans

    In the tiny hamlet of Cardiff, New York, something big was about to go down—literally. One fine day in 1869, a group of workers was digging for the next big construction project when they stumbled upon what they thought was a 10-foot-tall petrified man. Excitement bubbled over as speculation ran rampant—was this a biblical giant? A missing link? Or just a really ambitious statue that overshot its goal? With jaws dropped and memories of last Thanksgiving’s turkey still fresh, the townsfolk raced to see this towering marvel, ready to unveil their own theories about how this giant figured into their lives.

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  • Van Meegeren’s Masterpiece Heist: Art or Just Artful Dodging?

    Once upon a time in the vibrant world of 1940s art, a mischievous Dutch painter named Han van Meegeren decided that the secret to wealth wasn’t creating ground-breaking masterpieces but rather… well, “borrowing” the brilliance of the great masters. His current plan involved fashioning several stunning Vermeer paintings that wouldn’t just delight unsuspecting art enthusiasts but would also fill his pockets with enough cash to pay for the fanciest petticoat vendors in town. Known for his delightful blend of paint and a pinch of shenanigan, Han set out to craft these forgeries faster than you could say “Now, where’s my beret?”

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